


I Wanted to See You

by AlphaBeta17



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama & Romance, Extended Scene, F/M, First Kiss, Hugging, Manga Spoilers, Talking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25719508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaBeta17/pseuds/AlphaBeta17
Summary: Diverging from the boat scene at the end of Chapter 131 of Attack on Titan, Armin and Annie will move forward to face Eren and the Rumbling. Together.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart
Comments: 12
Kudos: 118





	1. I Wanted to See You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked Chapter 131, and I've been in a bit of a writing funk for a while, so I decided to try writing this and see what happened. I ended up kind of liking the end result, so here you go.

“Hey, Armin.”

Armin snapped out of his train of thought at the sound of Annie’s voice. He brought himself back to reality, tearing himself away from childhood memories with his best friend.

“Have your wounds healed already,” Annie continued tiredly, her eyes hooded with stress.

“Annie?” Armin said quickly, turning to face her. He stopped at the sight of her weary expression.

“Yeah...since there was time, unbelievably,” he answered honestly. “Being able to pass it so carefreely, I didn’t think that would be the case.” He stopped as thoughts of what was surely happening elsewhere in the world invaded his mind.

Annie sat silently, digesting his words, before quietly speaking up.

“Wanna sit?”

Armin stared at her, a surprised look crossing his face, before he nodded slowly and made his way over to her. He sat down next to her against the railing of the ship, and pulled his legs up in front of him, mirroring her posture. 

All he could hear was the soft lapping of waves against the hull of the ship, and the distant cawing of sea birds. It was a bright, beautiful day, but it only made him feel worse.

_ Elsewhere in the world, people are suffering because of my friend. Because of Eren. _

Annie carefully broke the silence, her voice resigned and measured. “I just realized….that I hadn’t thanked you yet.”

“Huh?” Armin said as confusion crossed his face.

“All those years…” Annie continued, her expression taking on the look of someone reliving an unpleasant memory. “You kept talking to me. Thanks.”

“Oh,” Armin said slowly, as he realized what she was talking about. “Yeah….”

“I thought I’d go crazy from the loneliness,” Annie admitted. “You and Hitch talking to me was the only thing I looked forward to.”

Armin couldn’t stop himself. “Annie….”

“But why?” She said suddenly, cutting him off. “Why did you bother talking to a rock that couldn’t so much as grunt a response back to you? I mean, there must have been more fun and cheerful girls out there, right?”

Armin felt his breath catch. “No, that’s not right,” he said softly. He thought for a second before answering.

“I was because….I wanted to see you, Annie.” He couldn’t stop the small blush from coloring his cheeks.

Annie’s eyes widened momentarily in surprise, before she buried her face in her arms to hide her own blush.

“Why?” She whispered.

“You….you really don’t know?” Armin asked hesitantly, afraid he would upset her. “Even with Hitch’s teasing?”

He stared at her as she raised her head to answer him, and this time, he noticed her blush.

“I don’t.” Her voice sounded despondent, and Armin felt a stab of pain clench his heart in its grasp. He broke his gaze away from her and stared off into the distance, wishing he could have the courage to speak up.

“Really,” Annie said, her voice filled with resignation. “What are we doing?”

Armin found himself at a loss for words as Annie continued, her voice growing more and more hopeless as she buried her face in her arms again.

“Right now, thousands,  _ millions _ of people are out there being killed. We….just….what are we doing….”

The silence hung over them like a cloud.

“Yeah,” Armin said softly.

Annie jerked her head up, her eyes suddenly flared. “I get it,” she said bitterly. “You’re a good person, so that’s why you talked to an enemy like me?”

Armin felt a pang of hurt, but he kept his mouth shut, hoping that Annie wouldn’t lash out at him in anger. He knew what she was capable of.

“That’s the same reason you won’t give up on talking to Eren,” Annie said with a hint of venom in her voice. “That’s what drove you to bother with a monster who could wake up at any moment. You just wanted to avoid conflict, right?”

Armin looked away, Annie’s words hitting too close to home. 

_ I’m not a good person. _

Annie noticed Armin’s reaction, and she glanced downward guiltily. She got to her feet, wanting to get away from this conversation before it could get more painful.

Armin’s hand instinctively shot out and grabbed Annie’s wrist. “Sit down,” he said, his voice suddenly lined with firmness. “And I know I’ve said this before, but I hate being called a good person.”

Annie stood frozen for a second, before slowly sitting back down next to him.

“I’ve killed many people,” Armin said, his voice filled with shame. “Not only soldiers. Innocent people. Children, too. And….when I chose to betray everyone I grew up with on the island. When I betrayed my people. When I killed my comrades….”

Armin stopped, taking a deep breath to calm himself. 

“I’ve been a monster for a long time now.”

Annie let out a small, defeated sigh. So that was what it had come to in her absence. While she had been trapped for several years, the kind boy she had known in training had been forced to become someone he never wanted to be.

Just like her.

Armin couldn’t meet her gaze. “Somewhere in my head, one day….the promise that I made with Eren. To go on a journey into the unknown world with him. I….”

Armin shook his head ruefully. “I thought we’d make that come true.”

Annie let out a small, humorless laugh. “The unknown world. It wasn’t that great a thing after all, huh?”

“Yeah,” Armin said regretfully, the last traces of hope disappearing from his voice as he said it. “It was different from the world we saw in our dreams.”

The cawing of a sea bird startled Armin. He looked up as it landed on the railing near his head, and stared at him, its eyes carrying a reflection from sights he would never get to see.

Armin stared back at it, and a small, rebellious part of him clawed its way back to the surface. The part of him that had spent years around Eren, who had taught him to never give up, no matter how bad things got.

_ Still, that which we don’t know, must definitely be out there, beyond the walls. _

_ That’s what I want to believe. _

Armin turned to face Annie, his mind made up. He didn’t know how much time he had left, and he was done wasting it.

“Annie,” he said as he turned to her with an earnest expression.

“Hmm,” she responded with an air of projected contempt. 

“I love you.”

Annie stared at him for several seconds, her gaze unreadable, before she got to her feet and shook her head in disbelief.

“Armin. What are you doing?”

A small part of Armin’s heart wilted at her disbelieving tone, but he wasn’t about to back down now. Not when he had made it this far. He would go all the way, and face whatever she said. He stood, and held his head high.

“I said I love you. As in, I’ve loved you all these years.”

Annie’s expression slowly morphed from one of disbelief to one of sorrow. “Stop,” she whispered.

“I never stopped loving you. Even after I realized you were the Female Titan, and that you killed our comrades.”

“Armin, please stop,” Annie said quietly as she squeezed her eyes shut, turning away from him.

“Even after you sealed yourself inside that crystal, and everyone else condemned you. I never believed that you truly wanted to hurt anyone.”

“Stop!” Annie said in desperation. Every word Armin spoke was another blow, stronger than any she had ever faced.

“And now, I understand. I understand why you did what you did. And I’m telling you that I  _ don’t care _ .”

“Stop!” Annie yelled, still facing away from him.

“All I care about now is that you understand how I feel.” With that, Armin took a deep breath and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Annie’s shoulders from behind.

She gasped, and Armin closed his eyes as he felt her raise her hand to her mouth, ready to bite down and transform into the Female Titan.

Silence gripped the two of them.

Armin felt her shift slightly, and he opened his eyes. Her arm was raised, and he could tell that her hand was resting between her teeth.

They stayed that way for several moments, before Annie dropped her unbitten hand to her side. She turned around in Armin’s arms and stared up at him, her expression standing strong for several seconds before collapsing. Wrapping her arms around him, she sank into his hug and buried her face in his chest as she began to quietly sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my first one-shot, hope you enjoyed it! If people request it, maybe I'll continue it. Who knows....


	2. I Won't Leave You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this, I went back and made a couple of edits to the first chapter, and I think it's much better now, so I'd recommend re-reading that before starting this chapter.

Armin kept his arms wrapped around Annie for some time as she released the volatile mixture of emotions she had been carrying with her ever since she was freed from her crystal. Her tears stained the front of his shirt, and her quiet, muffled sobs filled his ears.

It tore at his heart, hearing her in pain like this.

After what could have been an eternity, her sobs died down, and silence gripped the two of them again. 

“I’m sorry,” Armin eventually said.

Annie felt confusion grip her. “For what?”

Armin thought back to the events at Stohess District, and he shivered.

“For tricking you. For manipulating you. For forcing you to trap yourself in that crystal. I just….I’m sorry for any pain that I caused you.”

She didn’t respond at first, shocked that he was the one apologizing to her. “Armin,” she eventually whispered.

“Yeah,” he responded quietly. 

“I don’t know what to do.” Annie’s voice sounded lost, and unsure. “I don’t know what to live for anymore. For the longest time, all I cared about was returning to my father. Now, he’s dead.”

Armin grimaced as an image of Eren, his eyes devoid of kindness, flashed across his mind.

“That time you came to visit me,” Annie continued. “After….after Sasha died. You said you didn’t understand Eren anymore.” Her voice took on a sharp edge, even as her head rested on his chest.

“Annie. What are you trying to say?” Armin asked slowly. He knew where she was going, but he didn’t want to hear it.

“Are you still going to try to stop him?”

Armin hesitated before answering. He remembered what Annie had said earlier, about how she was done fighting. That she didn’t want to have to kill Eren, or any of them. 

Armin exhaled slowly, not sure what he even wanted to do. A small part of him wanted to say no, that he was done trying to stop Eren, and to flee with Annie, now that he was finally,  _ finally _ , after all these years, holding her in his arms. But the part of him that refused to accept the slaughter of any more innocents won out.

“Yes. I will,” Armin said, his voice almost sounding reluctant.

Annie sighed in resignation. She knew that Armin would never be able to live with himself if he didn’t try to stop his friend. But she was a realist. She wasn’t going to hide what was on her mind. “Armin. You and I both know that even if we were to run away now, or if somehow, we stop Eren….no matter what happens, I only have two years left to live.”

Armin’s grip on Annie tightened.

“I know.”

Annie let out a small, dark chuckle. She pulled away from Armin, and stared him in the eyes carefully.

“Well? That’s it?” She asked him, her voice tinged with disbelief. “I’ve committed atrocities, unforgivable acts, and yet you say you don’t care about that. You know we can’t stop Eren, yet you don’t want to run away.”

She paused, a pained look crossing her face. “I’m going to  _ die _ soon, and yet you won’t leave me.”

Armin felt a shiver run down his spine at Annie’s words. Ever since she had come back into his life, he had tried not to think about the Curse of Ymir hanging over her. While it loomed for him as well, he still had another nine years left, so it was relatively easy to ignore. Annie though….

Armin carefully took Annie’s face in his hands and pressed his forehead to hers. He wasn’t sure how she would react, but when she didn’t pull away, he figured he was doing something right. He closed his eyes and let his words take over.

“I won’t leave you,” he said as his voice became heavy with emotion. “I  _ can’t _ leave you. Not after being separated from you for so long. All these years, I’ve missed you.”

Annie couldn’t stop her throat from constricting again, as Armin’s words touched something deep inside of her. Silently, tears began to roll down her face again, but this time, they were met with Armin’s hands, which gently caressed her face.

Armin continued, his voice taking on a hoarse tone as tears began to leak from behind his closed eyelids. “I missed how you roll your eyes at me when I say something you think is stupid.”

Annie let out a choked chuckle. For all his intelligence, Armin did always manage to say things that made absolutely no sense to her.

“I missed your dry sense of humor, and how you always look at things realistically, never hiding what you really think,” Armin said, not bothering to hide the admiration in his voice. “I missed your practicality, and how you never stop thinking, never stop analyzing the situation. You’re intelligent, and it’s….”

Annie couldn’t contain a small smile as Armin’s voice trailed off. “Attractive?” She said in a softly teasing tone.

Armin opened his eyes to stare directly into Annie’s piercing gaze, surprised that she would say something like that. “Well, um….” Armin said as his cheeks reddened.

“You really mean it,” Annie said as realization flitted across her blue eyes. “You aren’t going to leave me, are you.” Her voice made it clear that it wasn’t a question. She knew what he was going to say.

Armin felt his breath catch in his chest.

“I won’t leave you,” he said again, this time with an air of finality.

Annie shivered, her forehead still pressed against Armin’s. “Then kiss me, you idiot.” Her cheeks turned red as she said it, and she leaned in, her mouth coming to a stop right in front of Armin’s. She could feel his breath against her dry lips, and his hands resting on her cheeks began to tremble.

“Well?” Annie said with a hint of the familiar annoyance Armin had heard in her voice so many times before. “We don’t have a lot of time, so-”

Armin closed the gap and pressed his lips to Annie’s, cutting her off. She closed her eyes and leaned in, wrapping her arms around him with a sense of pained desperation. 

She knew that their time together was limited. Even as she allowed herself to enjoy the kiss, the fact that Armin was still going to try to stop Eren wasn’t far from her mind. It scared her, more than anything ever had. She had just lost her father, but now, she had Armin.

And knowing him, he would put himself directly in the line of fire.

As they pulled apart, Annie made a promise to herself.

_ I don’t want to fight anymore. But in order to protect Armin, I’ll do anything. Even if he hates me for it…. _

Annie opened her eyes, and found herself staring at a blushing Armin.

“I didn’t say to stop,” she said hungrily as she leaned forward, capturing him in another kiss. Armin gasped against her lips, but submitted to her touch once again.

_ I’ll kill Eren Yeager. He killed my father. I won’t let him kill Armin. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the support! This chapter is rather short, but it serves as a springboard into the rest of the story, which I've already started planning out. I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. I Have A Plan

Spread across one of the rooms on board the vessel that was carrying everyone to Odiha, the remnants of the Survey Corps, the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers, the Warrior Unit of the Marleyan military gathered to discuss what would be done about Eren.

"So," Hange began. "We're less than two hours away from the mainland now. It'll take a few hours for the Azumabito engineers to get the flying boat ready for takeoff, and then after that…." Hange paused, letting the knowledge of the carnage taking place at that very moment fill the minds of every person in the room. "After that, we're going to try to stop Eren. If anyone has any ideas, now is the time to lay them out."

The room fell silent, the grim situation before everyone seeming insurmountable. With countless Wall Titans advancing across the continent, led forward by the single most powerful being in the world, there seemed to be no possible way to stop it.

Then, the silence was broken by a single voice.

"I have a plan."

Armin shifted nervously on his feet as all eyes turned to him. Something needed to be done, and they all needed to figure out what to do fast. With every passing moment, more people were being violently, horrifically killed. The thought made him feel queasy, but that only served to heighten his resolve.

"At the center of my plan will be Mikasa and I," he said as he turned to his dark-haired friend, who stood across from him mutely. In order for this plan to work, it would require both of them. "It's crazy, and if you don't want to take part, I understand."

Mikasa shook her head, her gaze not faltering. "What do you have in mind?"

Armin glanced at Annie across the room, who was leaning against the wall with a sullen expression. She hadn't liked his plan when he had proposed it to her, but she had agreed that it was probably the best shot they had. Now, she was staying quiet while he laid it out for everyone else.

"Once we reach Odiha, and the flying boat has been serviced, we travel to Eren and the Rumbling by air. Once we reach it, we'll fly out a ways ahead of it, and Mikasa and I will jump out and parachute to the ground, along with Pieck, Reiner, and Annie."

Armin hesitated as he turned to face Falco and Gabi, who both looked absolutely exhausted. "Falco, you're the holder of the Jaw Titan now. If you were older, I'd ask you to join us without hesitation, but I can't ignore the fact that you're just a child."

Armin took a deep breath and walked over to Falco, kneeling down in front of him. Falco couldn't meet his eyes, already knowing what Armin was going to say. Gabi was glaring daggers at him, but he ignored her, focusing only on the young boy in front of him who held a power he never should have been forced to bear.

"Falco, we'll need you to join us as well. Together, with you, Pieck, Reiner, Annie, and me, we have five of the Nine Titans. The Jaw, Cart, Armored, Female, and Colossus Titans. I think we'll need every single one of them for this to work. Now, I won't force you to do this." Armin tried to put as much compassion into his voice as he could. Seeing Falco's downturned expression reminded him of how he felt on the day Wall Maria fell, all those years ago. "But you have this power, and we can't afford to not use it. Not now. Not when millions of lives are on the line."

"You can't!" Gabi yelled, causing Falco to jump beside her. Her expression turned furious as she grabbed Falco's arm and pulled him away from Armin, who stood up in resignation, his arms raised diplomatically.

"Gabi, I know you want to protect your friend. Believe me, I know what that feels like. But we can't take any chances. Not now. Please, just let me finish telling my plan, and then you can get mad at me all you want." Armin held his breath as Gabi fumed, reminding him too much of Eren, before Falco quietly spoke his mind.

"I'm terrified. I don't want to, but if it means we'll have a better chance of stopping the Rumbling, then I'm willing to join you." His tone was somber, and sounded like it came from someone much older than Falco actually was.

"What?!" Gabi screeched as betrayal filled her eyes. "No, you can't go out there! You could get killed!"

"Gabi," Falco said softly, turning to her and clasping her hands in his. "I have to do this. I don't like it, but we need to stop Eren at all costs. Even if it means I might die…." Falco shuddered as he took a deep breath. "I have to at least try. I'm the holder of the Jaw Titan now. The fastest of the Nine Titans. I owe it to all those who previously held it: Marcel, Ymir, and Porco. And I owe it to my brother." Falco's gaze saddened. "I owe it to Colt to make his death worth something."

Pieck rubbed her forehead as she placed a hand on Falco's shoulder. She glanced at Reiner beside her, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. "I don't like this at all," she said cautiously. "But I recognize that we don't have many other options here. Armin, continue." She waved her other hand at Armin with a distracted motion, her brows furrowed as she processed all the information flowing around her.

Armin gave Pieck an appreciative nod as he pressed forward. "So, we'll jump from the flying ship and parachute to the ground. When the Rumbling gets closer to us, we'll fire off several flare rounds. I assume there are some onboard that we can use?"

Hange nodded. "Almost certainly. You intend to draw his attention?"

Armin gave a helpless shrug. "Yes. If firing off flares doesn't get his attention, then I'll transform and wave my arms. If he recognizes that Mikasa and I are on the ground, I'm almost certain that it will at least be enough to get him to halt his advance, if only temporarily. The goal is to get him to come out of the Founding Titan, and to come talk to us. On the ground."

Jean let out a humorless laugh. "That's it. You've gone officially insane now. This is crazy, and I've seen and heard a lot of crazy shit lately. You're still going to try to talk to him? And your plan is to put yourself in his path, with Mikasa, who isn't a Titan by the way, and _hope_ that he doesn't decide to just crush you?"

Annie nodded firmly. "Trying to fight him head-on won't work. It simply won't. He's much too powerful inside the Founding Titan, so everything rides on getting him to lower his guard. The thing is…." Armin hesitated as the memory of Eren's cold stare appeared in his mind. How remorseless he had sounded when he had told Mikasa that he had always hated her.

Armin pushed the memory from his mind and forged ahead. Using his analytical mind, he had examined the motivations behind Eren's actions and words, coming to a logical conclusion. "The thing is, I think there's a high likelihood that he's said specific things in an attempt to make it easier for all of us to hate him when he moved forward with the Rumbling. I think he still cares deeply for us, and wanted to spare us as much pain as possible. He's convinced himself that genocide is the only answer, and he's sacrificing himself to achieve this. He's sacrificing his friendships, his chances at a normal life, and even his own happiness, all in the pursuit of making the world better, at least in his mind, for us. He's turned himself into the devil he thinks is necessary to achieve freedom."

Silence filled the room as Armin's statement hung in the air like a layer of smoke, stagnant and suffocating.

"What do you plan on using us for?" Reiner suddenly asked. He drew himself up to his full height as he stared at Armin, putting an authoritative edge in his voice. "If you just plan on talking to Eren, then why do you need us there?"

"Because talking might fail," Annie spoke up bluntly from her position at the back of the room. She glanced at Armin with a softened gaze momentarily, before hardening her gaze when everyone turned to look at her. "There's a good chance Eren will be dead-set on moving forward with the Rumbling, no matter what. If that's the case, then the five of us Titan shifters will have to work together to kill him."

"Wait." Levi groaned as he carefully sat up, facing Annie with a cold stare. "Let me be clear. I don't like you. You've killed so many people, including members of my squad. Even though we share a common enemy, don't think for a second that I've forgotten what you've done. We're allies for now, but when this is over with, if we somehow survive, I'll make sure you pay for what you did."

Armin stepped forward, about to speak in Annie's defense, but she held up a hand, signaling for him to remain silent. He gave her a concerned look as she subtly shook her head, before letting out a small, resigned sigh. "Yes. I did kill your comrades, Levi. All I can offer now is my apologies, and tell you that I only did it so that I could try to return to my father. When this is over, come find me. We'll work things out your way, though keep in mind that I only have two years left to live anyway."

Levi nodded grimly. "I can live with that. So long as I get to kill Zeke, I doubt I'll be searching for more vengeance."

Jean let out a humorless chuckle. "If that piece of shit is even still alive. Tell us, Yelena. Where do you think your savior is?"

Yelena raised an eyebrow as she shifted her stance, her broken arm resting against her body in a sling, a reminder of her torture at Magath's hands. "How would I know?" She remarked distantly. "I believe the only person who might know is Eren Yeager. You'll just have to go along and ask him. I've heard you always got on splendidly with him."

Jean looked like he wanted to throttle Yelena, but Onyankopon stepped forward and held up his hands in a calming gesture. "We're all fighting for the same goal here. Let's not turn on one another when we need to be working together."

Hange nodded as she crossed her arms, giving Armin a cautious look. "It's a bold plan, I'll give you that. Reminds me of something that Erwin would suggest."

Armin looked down at the ground as a lump formed in his throat. He still didn't know whether it was the best choice for him to live over Erwin, and even if it was, he still felt immensely guilty about it.

"I'm not Erwin," Armin admitted. "I don't have the same confidence, nor do I inspire the same loyalty. I'm not a leader like he was. I'm a thinker, and a talker. That's what I'm going to try to do out there. If anyone can convince Eren to stop, I can."

"And if talking fails?" Connie said darkly. "Eren's more powerful than any of you now. Even with all five of you working together, and with Mikasa, the only way to fully stop him will be to eat him, taking the Founding Titan from him. How do you plan on accomplishing that?"

Armin fell silent. He hadn't wanted to think about the possibility of killing his friend, but if Eren refused to stop, then for the sake of the world, it would have to be done. If it even could be done.

* * *

"Is something going on between you and Armin?"

Annie turned at the sound of Mikasa's voice, and found Armin's childhood friend glaring at her with a suspicious expression.

"What?" Annie responded tiredly.

"You heard me," Mikasa said coldly, her gaze hard as steel. "I saw the way he looked at you back there when Levi called you out. I've always felt that he carried too much sympathy for you, but that look he gave you was unlike any I've seen him give anyone before. It looked almost protective."

Annie rolled her eyes, and tried to turn away. "This doesn't concern you."

Mikasa's hand shot out and grabbed Annie's shoulder, spinning the shorter girl back around to face her piercing gaze. "Yes, it does," Mikasa said as she stared Annie down, their faces only inches away.

Annie's fists tightened. "I don't want to fight you," she said quietly. "Not anymore. All I want is to stop Eren."

"And so you're planning to kill him," Mikasa said, not even bothering to pretend it was a question.

Annie's frown tightened. "If I need to, yes. I asked you before if you would be able to kill Eren if he refuses to stop. If you would end up fighting against us. I need to know right now."

Annie clenched her muscles, ready to burst into action if Mikasa attacked her.

"Mikasa. Will you defend a man who, right now, as we speak, is slaughtering millions of innocents? Will you try to stop those trying to stop him from killing even more?"

An image of Armin's face flashed across Annie's mind, and her resolve solidified.

"Will you stand against Armin and I, and by the side of a mass-murderer?"

Mikasa's expression was unreadable for several long seconds, until she shoved Annie away with a look of disgust.

"If you end up killing Eren," Mikasa said with an edge of venom in her voice. "Even if Armin agrees that it was necessary, he'll never want to see you again."

Annie stared at Mikasa for several seconds, before letting out a low sigh. "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I've got the rest of the story I'm going to write nailed down, so hopefully, I'll be able to update with a little more frequency from now on. Sorry there weren't any scenes with just Armin and Annie in this chapter, but it was necessary to get the logistical planning out of the way, as well as setting up for what's to come.
> 
> Until next time!


	4. I'm a Monster Too

Armin let out a shaky sigh of relief as he shut the door behind him, still rattled from the meeting on the ship with everyone else. Sliding to the floor of the small abandoned motel room, he wrapped his arms around his body as a million thoughts flew about his head, one, in particular, standing out from the rest. The possibility of having to kill Eren terrified him, but he was smart enough to know that it was a very real possibility. He was also smart enough to know that there was a good chance Mikasa would fight against the alliance if it came to that.

_My goodness. Mikasa…._

Armin didn't want to imagine what it was like for her right now. To have someone you love be seemingly devoid of compassion, and intent on slaughtering millions. It was cruel, and nobody deserved to be in that situation.

_Annie's done terrible things. Hell, I've done terrible things. We all have. But Eren…._

Armin couldn't suppress a shudder.

_If I hadn't grown up with Eren, stood by him for years, seen so many horrible things happen to him, then I would undoubtedly believe that he was irredeemably evil. But I have grown up with him. No matter how many terrible things he does, no matter how far he falls, I'll always see that brash little kid who never hesitated to throw himself into a fight to protect me, even if there was no chance he would win. He's always been my friend, and if I have to fight him, it'll be the hardest thing I've ever done._

_Hopefully it won't come to that._

A knock came from the door behind Armin, and he jumped to his feet, throwing open the door with a wide-eyed expression.

"Is the Rumbling here already? Where's Eren, has he…." Armin trailed off as Annie's tired expression didn't change, indicating that there was no imminent danger.

"Oh, it's just you," Armin said in relief, his heartbeat still racing from the sudden surge of adrenaline. The Azumabito engineers still needed several hours to prepare the flying ship, and with the town abandoned, the residents having evidently fled the incoming wave of destruction, he was incredibly on edge. With the sun having just set beneath the horizon, all they could do now was try to rest, and wait.

"You….mind if I come in?" Annie said quietly, not meeting Armin's eyes.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," he said hesitantly, suddenly worried about what was going on. As Annie stepped into the room, closing the door behind her, she turned to him with a strange look in her eyes. "What is it?" Armin asked, reaching out to lay a hand on Annie's shoulder. She looked at him with hooded eyes, and it sent a spike of pain through his heart at the sight.

"Mikasa just confronted me," Annie confessed. "I don't really want to talk about it, but…."

"Shh, it's ok," Armin said as he pulled Annie into a hug. She hesitantly snaked her arms around his body, leaning into his warmth with a sigh. Armin couldn't help but smile. As crazy as everything was, at least he had Annie, though she was obviously unaccustomed to the affection she was receiving. She didn't seem to mind it, though.

"Thanks. For today, I mean," Annie quietly said. "I always wondered if you had a thing for me, but I never let myself believe it. It was too painful, since I was…."

"Yeah," Armin said ruefully, intentionally ignoring the memory of her betrayal. "Back when we were in training, I had such a huge crush on you. I always thought you were so cool, and that underneath your hard exterior, you were probably a lot nicer than you let on, at least around most people."

"Ha, I always just thought you were kind of scared of me," Annie softly joked, the kind boy she was hugging bringing out a warmer side to her that she had never let surface. "I could've squashed you like a bug. Still could, as a matter of fact."

Armin smirked. "Maybe in human form, but I think I've got you beat when it comes to our Titans."

Annie's smile faded, and a stricken expression crossed Armin's face. He pulled back, looking at Annie with a worried expression. "Sorry, I-"

"It's ok," Annie interrupted as she shook her head sadly. "You didn't mean to. I just…." Annie let out a frustrated groan. "I just wish Bertolt were still alive somehow. Even though I know that if he was, you'd be dead, I wish it was somehow possible for you both to be here. I always kind of looked down on him, and I never apologized to him for it. Now, I'll never get the chance."

Armin grimaced at the memory of the return to Shiganshina, and his sacrifice to allow Eren to defeat Bertolt. He had thought that he would die that day, and that he would never reach the ocean. He had been wrong on both counts, but at the cost of a friend's life. Even though Bertolt and Reiner had betrayed them all, just like Annie, he had never stopped seeing the three as his friends, especially with what he knew now about Marley, and how they'd essentially been forced into their roles of warriors as children. Just like how he'd witnessed his home destroyed and overrun as a child, and gone on to fight Titans with no other option. They'd all hurt each other out of necessity, but it had never been for that purpose alone. Years of violence and bloodshed had led them to oppose each other, sparked by greater conflicts that had never been their fault. They had simply been dragged along with the hatred, and tried to survive however they could.

"I don't think I ever got over Bertolt's death," Armin admitted. "I killed him, and even though I didn't have a choice, it still haunts me. After I became the Colossus Titan, I saw some of his memories, and I found out he and I were alike in ways I never imagined. He…." Armin hesitated, not sure if he should reveal his dead friend's secret.

"He had a crush on me, just like you," Annie finished, her gaze turning distant. "I never noticed at the time, but when I was trapped for four years, I spent a lot of time reflecting, and I figured it out. I scoffed at the thought at first, but when I look back now, it was so obvious."

Armin wasn't sure how to respond, so he simply remained quiet, letting Annie work through her feelings.

"After Marcel's death, Bertolt and I both wanted to call off the operation, but Reiner convinced us to keep moving forward. To think that if we had just retreated that day, none of this would have happened. You, Mikasa, and Eren would still be together, and you never would have been forced from your hometown. You'd probably have gone on to become a librarian or something. Maybe you'd have settled down with a nice local girl by now, and even have a child on the way. But because we chose to break through Wall Maria, none of that happened. Instead, you were all forced to become soldiers. You were forced to become killers, and it created the Eren that is now trying to destroy the world. If we had just-"

"Stop," Armin cut in, grasping Annie's hands in his own. Her gaze flicked to his, and for a brief instant, he glimpsed the intense level of guilt and regret that she carried with her.

_She blames herself for so much of what's happened._

"We can't change the past," Armin gently said. "All we can do is focus on moving forward, one step at a time. Believe me, I've driven myself close to insanity, thinking about what could have been."

Annie let out a quiet sigh, then pulled one of her hands out of Armin's grasp and ran it slowly down his face. Her fingertips trembled against his skin, and despite his nervousness, he leaned into her touch, basking in the warmth and closeness he had never imagined he would feel with her.

"I don't want to lose you," Annie whispered, her voice almost reverent as she caressed his face. "You're too good for this world. You deserve….so much better than the life you've been dealt."

Armin blushed, but he didn't look away, concern filling his eyes. "And you don't?"

Annie shook her head in resignation, tearing her gaze away from Armin's. "I'm a monster. I deserve nothing. I….I don't deserve you."

" _No_ ," Armin said forcefully, catching Annie by surprise. She looked back at him, and the burning fire in his eyes drew her in closer, her lips moving on impulse towards his. What Armin said next took her breath away, and quelled any doubts she had left about how he felt about her.

"I'm a monster too. And I want _you_."

Armin leaned forward and pressed his lips to Annie's, and while it was as clumsy and inexperienced as before, this time, the kiss sparked with the passion of two souls in a race against time, fueled by years of lonely desire and desperate longing. The two lost themselves in a raw, physical expression of shared affection, their arms wrapped around each other as the world outside their small room vanished into nothingness. They were at the end of the line, only hours away from confronting the devil of the new world. More likely than not, they would both die, and they both knew it.

After an eternity, when they finally broke apart for air, Annie managed to gasp out three words that had never passed her lips before. For her, it was both freeing, and terrifying, and for both of them, it sealed their undying commitment to each other.

"I love you."

With tears streaming down both of their faces, the two collapsed onto the bed together. Though the night would not see them losing themselves in shared pleasure, it would witness them holding each other close, falling asleep together as elsewhere, one man continued toward them with an unbreakable resolve to bring freedom to his people, by any means necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the slow rate of updates, but I hope that each chapter is worth the wait. I decided to not do what chapter 132 did, with the Rumbling arriving almost immediately after the arrival at Odiha, so that Annie and Armin could have a few peaceful hours together.
> 
> Chapter 5 will deal with the lead-up to the final confrontation, while the climactic meeting with Eren will span several chapters (not sure how many) followed by a final chapter which will wrap everything up and serve as an epilogue. Though this will obviously feature a heavy Annie/Armin slant, I'm going to try to conclude (or at least mention) the other characters and their journey's ends as well. I hope you all enjoy it, and any and all comments are welcome!


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